Yesterday Brielle brought me one of her toys that I use often to convince her to let me stretch her. She came running to me with it and was yelling "I wanna stretch, I wanna stretch." Now mind you, she doesnt want to actually stretch, but she associates the toy with stretching. She just wanted to play with it. So I let her. But it made me sad that she can put those two things together. A child shouldnt have to associate her fun toys with stretching and therapy. I also have used her dress up beads and put her between my legs and extend her legs out and put the beads past her toys and have her stretch for them. Well she doesnt play with them anymore, probably because when she does, I make her stretch. Not what I was aiming for, but what the outcome has come to. The toys seemed like a good way to try to pursade a 2 year old to stretch and get the mission accomplished but Im thinking its started to backfire. I am thinking now I will need to put aside certain therapy toys and leave her favorites for just fun play.
Next Tuesday is botox day. I have so many mixed emotions. I dont know if I want to inject her with botox if it isnt going to work. I dont NOT want to give it another try because what if it works? Maybe she was going thru a growth spurt and the timing was just wrong? This time will be different? Maybe they needed several more locations other than her hamstrings?? PT is now coming with me to this appointment to put in her opinion of where the botox should go. She wants the hamstrings, ankles, and abductors injected. That seems like a lot to me, but when you do look at all 3 locations and how she is walking, falling, standing, stepping, It really does make sense to do all 3. I have also questioned the use of oral baclofen. I will be throwing that out to her rehab Dr on Tuesday. The only negative to that, is it is a whole body relaxant and her posture is already not ideal, so it will make it that much worse. And will she do Botox and Baclofen or one or the other? Or do we totally forget botox and put her under for phenol which is deeper and goes straight to the precise area that needs help??? AHHH so many questions!! I never know if Im doing the right thing or not. Josh tries to hard to be in the mix and help with decisions but he just isnt here to hear all the suggestions and what is really going on, so to help make a decision is like making it blind. I talk to him and he always says he trusts what I think but sometimes I dont know what to think. I like to think Im making the best educated decision but I question it. Alot. And then when it doesnt work, like her last botox didnt, I take it pretty hard.
Baby 'Apple' is growing. I was 27 weeks on Monday. I am measuring 28.5 weeks which is within normal range. Heart beat is 150 and strong! She is moving around like crazy! Still trying to get Josh to be able to feel her. I dont know sometimes how he cant feel some kicks. I feel like shes trying to break loose sometimes! Shes a wild child! I never felt the twins as my placenta was in the front so it blocked all the movements. This placenta is in the back so I feel her quite frequent. She Still is not named. But one day she will be. hehe And I was just informed that she doesnt have to be named til she is a year old. Whew! I thought we had to have her named to leave the hospital. lol
It is definately hard to get "excited" and things ready for this one. While everything is going way to good, that is just it! Things are going way to good to be true! I keep waiting for that Dr appt to happen where she tells me something is wrong. I cross my fingers every day it doesnt. It will be so different to have a baby in the room with us. And to go home with a baby the day I leave. I really look forward to that and dont want that dream crushed. Its always in the back of my head, but for now, I put leaving with a baby top priority! Even tho we dont have a crib yet for the new baby, she will have a place to call home :) We may be doing some shopping on the way home from the hospital lol.
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