4 liters!!!

Well....Came to her 1:30 feeding today and Miss Kathy had a nice surprise for mama!! They turned her Vapotherm settings down to 4 liters!! Which means if she stays and does well and stops being sassy, she can start bottle feeding next week! She was alittle up in her oxygen % but she is working harder! We managed to get her down to about 34% and then she was sassy and had bradys and had to be turned back up. Stinker! So we will see if dad can work his magic tonight :) Eye appointment tomorrow to see if she is the same, worse, or better. Asked Dr. Debbie when she would put Brielle in a crib and her exact words were "When she gets fatter" lol she has to be about 4.5lbs she said. OKAY OKAY I guess we will wait it out!!! I cant wait but we can wait ya know? It will be exciting to see her in something other than a plastic box! Like a real baby crib! For 10 weeks we have seen other babys in cribs and going home etc and being bottle fed, and we are SO ready for it to be Brielles turn! Let the milestones keep coming!!!

Well I am editing this post since I got to the hospital and got new news:

We just got the news that she doesnt have to have the surgery this week. Her eyes have progressed from last week but not as rapidly. He said it wouldnt surprise him if in the next 1-3 weeks she would have to have it but as we said before, he has been wrong and he hopes he is wrong again!

Laura also changed her feeding tube (OG-oral) to a NG (nasal) So now her feeding tube is down her nose instead of down her mouth. We will see how she likes that better!

And last but not least her weight!!...........READY for it............How bout now?............Drum roll please...........suspense music.......okay okay here it is........3lbs 15.7oz. Little stinker!! So tomorrow she SHOULD gain that .3oz and hit 4lbs!! Far from her 1 lbs 6.6 oz at birth! Getting to be a big girl!! Brielle just does not want to be a big girl and get to 4 pounds!! Geez louise!!

34 weeks

Brielle is 34 2/7 weeks old! So she needs to start doing big girl stuff!! Like breathing on her own, and nippling, and no more As & Bs and no more desats. She weighs 3lbs 13.6oz! So close to 4lbs! Shes really starting to put on the weight now!! Came in today to Laura and Terri talking about Brielle going in a crib. A Crib is a good thing! BUT Brielle does NOT like noise, she has to work alittle harder to maintain her temp, the bright lights will be on her since there is no blanket to cover her up anymore, and she will have to be swaddled. And this little girl does NOT like to be contained!! So it will be interesting to see how she does. They lowered her vapo therm today to 5 liters!!!! And she is at 28% even after lowered!! She was always in the high 40%s when she was on 6 liters so hopefully this is a good thing that will stay and keep going down!!! Well little girl is getting antsy to go back in her pod!!

Weekend of Showers complete :)

Brielle had her second shower today at grandma Cindys house for daddys family. It was very nice!! We have sooo much stuff for Bri when she gets home :) We put some of it away but we still have quite a ways to go!! there is soooo much!! We got her crib all put together so now we just need the baby that goes with it :) Brielle got her first camo today! It is a pair of bibs! It is sooooooo cute!! daddy was all smiles!!! Its a joke at the hospital that she needs to come home in camo since her due date is technically opening weekend of bow hunting! Its coming quick!!

I forgot to add yesterday, We had lots of balloons at my familys shower and we didnt know what to do with them, so we each took on and released them up to Ayden on Anthonys "Here you go Ayden" command. It was cute! Brought tears to Josh and my eyes.

Brielles lung Xray today showed she is still mildly collapsed and not getting any better, but not any worse. Dr Abe was talking about switching her diaretics to see if he could get some of the fluid off her lungs and get her weaned off her vent settings. We dont want to rush her because that could send her backwards. Its soooo tough because we want her to be that 5 steps ahead of where she is. But like every nurse says to us, she shouldnt be here yet. So its okay where she is. We shouldnt have her right now. So she is doing very well considering her circumstances. She is having to fight for the place she is at right now instead of me pulling all the weight for her. So we have to keep telling ourselves that as well. It is hard!! We see her, she is here! Doing pretty good! Of course we want her to be home already. Who wouldnt? But September is just around the corner. We made is 68 days already we can make it another 42 days til her due date. And maybe she will surprise us and make it home before that :)

Baby Shower #1

Brielles first baby shower with my family was this afternoon! Brielle is one spoiled girl!! She has sooo much love and support we are so thankful for!!! It was pretty cute, when we got up there after her shower, I was telling her a bunch of stuff that she got! I said "you got a camo blanket with PINK" and she smiled and smushed her face! It was soo cute! Like she knew what I was saying and reacting in a way like she liked it!! We have Joshs family tomorrow! Her room is filling up!! My dad said we might need 2 rooms to put all her stuff in :)

Brielle is still at 3lbs 10 oz. But thats okay! She had a blow out poop last night for Terri! So she stayed about the same! Nurse Terri put a cute little bow in her hair last night! Josh went to the hospital before me this morning and sent me a picture to my email of her with the bow in her hair! It was pretty cute! nice email to wake up too! When she is about 4 1/2 pounds they will be transfering her to a crib since she is in the lowest settings possible on her isolette. I asked Terri if we could bring her mobile in and she said absolutely!! I think it will bring a sense of "home" with her when she comes home even. Thanks for the idea Sara!!! We got Brielles carseat today too from my mom, dad, dads gf Mary, stepdad Rob, Grandma Kathy, my sister Emily, and brother in law Mike! They also bought her mobile. Now I cant wait til I get to hear the words I hear the nurses tell so many other families, "You can bring in the carseat any day now!!"

2nd ROP appt.

Brielle had her second eye screening for ROP (retinopothy of prematurity). She is now at Zone 1 stage 2. When they get to stage 3 she will have the laser surgery. There is no knowing when or if that could be. Next Thursdayish when she has her 7-10 day followup appt they will either stay where they are now, get worse, or correct themselves. Both Drs said that it doesnt surprise them that she has some sort of ROP. With her being 24 weeks 2 days when she was born and then being on the amount of oxygen she is on, its not shocking. So only time will tell what she does! I found this webpage that explained the condition pretty well I thought if you'd like more info. Its difficult to explain!

http://www.rcophth.ac.uk/docs/publications/paed-patient-information/ROPLeaflet.pdf

Our little Angel is now 3lbs 9 oz! Not bad! she has gained 9oz in a week! She will be 4lbs before we even know it!! Mommy hasnt been doing her job and was behind on laundry, so she was put into a newborn outfit I had up there that was long but skinny enough to fit her! She didnt look to small in it! Hard to believe that she can almost fit in her preemie clothes already! They are poking her little heels tomorrow moring to check a blood gas and see what her CO2 level is at to see if they can wean her settings on her vapo therm at all. Lets hope we can!! The lower those settings are, the closer to bottle feedings, and closer to coming home!

Truly Blessed!

Brielle is now 3lbs 8 oz. She is getting to be so big!! Everyone laughs at me when I say that! But really when she was born at 1lbs 6oz and is now over double that weight in 2 months, that is big to us!!! To most, a 5lbs baby is small and an 8lbs baby is big!! We are the opposite! lol we think a 1 lbs baby is small and a 3 lbs baby is big! hehe. Grandma Kris and Grandpa Rob and uncle troy came up tonight. Troy held her for the first time! And this is the first time Gpa Rob seen her and got to hold her! It was so sweet! Never seems to get old when someone is so taken back by our little miracle! She truly is! And a million dollar miracle by the time she gets home! We have been so blessed to have so many people support and love us thru this process! Many of the people we know and are dear to our hearts! Others we havent even met and they are such great people and pray for our family every day! Talking to a very good friend today, Kelly, and she said, isnt it amazing how many people read your blog daily and are so interested in your life? And it got me thinking! YES! I am truly amazed how much this whole experience has changed our lives! We have made some great new friends thru this process, and also learned alot about who your true family and friends are and arent. We can not express how much it all means to Josh and I. Brielle too will one day know how much love and support she has gotten as well! My mom is printing the blogs for her and making a book that we can have her read when she gets older. I think she will love it! All the love is helping her get so much stronger to make her come home that much faster! She is over 2 months now and every week she is changing into a beautiful little baby! She is more awake then she has ever been. She is learning that she has an opinion and expresses it! She knows when it is time to eat and she will fuss until she feels her belly getting fed! Her nuc is her best friend! She grabs onto mom and dads fingers o so tightly as she always has! She looks right up at you when you talk to her! She recognizes voices and she smiles and looks for you. She lifts her head off of the blanket as if she was older than she is! She loves spa day! She kicks her feet about and waves her arms in the water. Dad gives her a good scub down! She has a certain way she loves to cuddle! Laying up on our chest with her body horizontal and her head tilted backwards so she looks up at us! Overall we are pretty pleased with everything she is doing thus far! Everything that we have went thru is so worth it when you get to hold and see your little baby girl staring up at you smiling so big!

Grow bigger!

Well not much too report. Just growing and getting bigger so she can do big girl things!! We cant wait til they start to introduce the bottle to her. Today the Dr. told me that her lungs are still looking not the best. She has to keep growing lung tissue and he thinks that why she is having problems getting down on her settings on Vapo. The way she went from the vent to the CPAP to the vapo in a few days I thought she would be down on her vapo by now. They were thinking about turing her down on Friday but then her gases went back up. I guess she just isnt ready! But she was 3 lbs 5.6 oz last night so she is growing pretty good! 5 oz in 3 days wasnt bad!!

2 Months Old

BRIELLE IS 2 MONTHS!! And 33 weeks gestation. I cant believe we have been in the NICU for 61 days! Brielle has sure overcame alot of obsticals that we are all so proud of her for! She has pneumonia that made her one sick baby! The first time I ever thought she might not pull thru. But after an emotional week she fought thru it! Facing possible PDA surgery. But it is closing slowly. Collapsed lungs and fluid on her lungs kept her on the vent longer than anticipated and another spell of penumonia. But now she is 3lbs and on the Vapotherm and doing awesome! Mommy and daddy get to give her baths by theirselves now and we take her in and out alone! It is great to have the independence. We are starting to feel more like parents without custody of our child. lol Just kidding!

Brielle got new neighbors. Twins. Boy and girl to make it worse. It doesnt sit very well with me. Some days I dread going. As selfish as that sounds. We are still grieving Ayden and it is hard to walk in the NICU and see the 2 incubators next to each other and say that should be how our room looks. I should have 2 precious babies. I am thankful for the one that I have dont get me wrong! But my perfectly planned pregnancy was by far not perfect! Our want to be parents and our journey as parents has been harder than most. Our little girl makes it so worth it tho! I have an amazing husband that stands by myside, puts me in my place, and helps me understand that my emotions are real and OK to feel that way. He is my rock. And honestly if it wasnt for having such a great, supportive, loving husband I probably would be a mess! Having a very fiesty sassy little girl is definately a plus as well! We will get thru all the tough times. Somedays I dont think its possible, but I am starting to tell myself we've come this far, I will make it thru this one as well!